You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
