all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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