I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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