And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
