I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Houston, we have a squirter
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
