Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
he puts the penis in happiness.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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