Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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