you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
