my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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