I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
