dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i wish my penis had a tongue
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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