there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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