Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
