i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
She announced her abortion via fbk
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
