He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
