So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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