This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
