dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
