Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize