That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
