Me. At least after what I've been through.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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