We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
