You really coming over, don't trick.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
