We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
COCAINE IS GR8
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
