omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She bit a glass in half.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize