i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
