I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
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