come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize