The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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