Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
