dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
