ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
