I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
