Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(989): View more from Michigan

i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed

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(218): View more from Minnesota

I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.

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(773): View more from Illinois

will power is for people who don't want to get laid

Fav 22 4292 1010
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.

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(847): View more from Illinois

I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?

(325): View more from Texas

Jail. That could go wrong.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.

(615): View more from Tennessee

BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.

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