Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
