i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
