we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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