how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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