Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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