she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
