what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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