Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
