and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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