covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
