If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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