Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
