Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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