Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize