What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
