and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize