I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize