I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
