You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
