dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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