There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
