i need an iv and a liver transplant
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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