Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
