You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
