had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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