I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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