Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
