Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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